BLINDNESS:

i cant type fast enough...i studder in my mind...for my best friend lost hid beloved soon to be second father..he already lost his first..but as of this moment..im worried about the one i love with everything i have...i would give my soul to save hers..but now she might go into lock down..i would not be able to see her..not be able to talk to her...not be able to keep a silence on the rusty razor that had been killed for her..all i can think about..all i care about..mandy...i stress the fact that adults..most adults..dont see the wisdom of children...it is a disease..of the highest of calliber...and most importantly..what they dont see...[andd when i say this i speak the truth]she needes no anti-depressants...no shrink..no lock down..i need none of these my self..because the only thing keeping me aliave is her...the only thing keeping her aliave is me...and we both believe and know this...i have found a cure for the disease...hte un-curable disease that society holds..that society is built on....i...and only i ..can change the bad...the disease....the blindness.....

...alot of shit happened latley..like my dad recently finding out that i slit my wrist..that hurt my chance to see my girlfriend..that hurts..if i dont get o too her this year...well....never mind*sigh*..it just wont be good...not at all...o yeah and today was my little sisters birthday..not that i really care..but anyways..she got a violin for her birthday..[more than i ever got..o well....]and she went to applebees..i didnt get anything to eat..but my grandma got somthing for me anyways..[i hate ribs]but yeah..anyways..o yeah..and alot of shit is going on with her that is hard to explain..like she was going to sell her farm..and she could have made millions..but she owed..like somthing like one thousand dollars in taxes....wich is nothing..but some asshole bought the farm for one thousand dollars..it was worth soo much more..and now to make it all worse..he is making my grandma pay the morgage on the fucking thing...[im gonna kill>.o*]and to top it all off at birth my grandma had some thing that gave great stress to her heart..that put a hole in her heart..and now all emotional stress makes it bigger...she almost died....so alot of shit is going on..but im not even ablt to think of it all right now...i just made a promise to write alot tonight..ill write alot next time i make a log entry too...

[i love you mandy!!!]